I learnt a lot of things these few weeks. Things that I had never in my life would think of it. Had been going through a lot. A lot more than what I expected. Sometimes, I wish I can hide somewhere and cry and shout my lungs out.

With my internal exams getting worse and worse, I started to feel that I did not have enough time to study. '2 months to final, 3 professional papers, deadline for OBU is getting closer' How can I handle that?? Sometimes, I felt like giving up. Felt like throwing everything out from my room and leave it empty.

I used to hate my mentor and my director for adding oil on my burning fire. I really hate them so much that I will curse them everyday until I feel better. But now, I came to my senses. They shouldn't take the blame. It all happened because of me. I shoudn't blame them and I shall myself take the blame. Sorry for all those curses. I took them back.

Going to class everyday felt like attending class on the first day. I brought my body to class but left my brain and soul at home. It feels horrible whenever I see the lecturers. They taught us well and made sure we passed our paper not for their own benefit but to make sure we had a good future ahead. Talking and dozing off in class was not what I wanted to do. But I really can't stand the boredom. I'm really sorry about that.

I wanted to dedicate this to one of my lecturers. 'Thanks a lot for waking us up. Each word and sentence of yours make me feel sad and motivated. Every time when I went home after your class, I can feel the regrets in my heart. I regret everything I had done. And now, it's time for me to prove to you that I can do it. I shall prove that to my parents too. I will not let all of you down. Just give me some time.'

And to my friends too who always support me in whatever I do. 'I love you guys and I will not forget the way you guys treat me with love, care and support. Without you, I'll be lost somewhere and nowhere to be found. Thanks a lot. You all will be in my heart forever until death tore us apart.'