The past few days were like hell to me. I got sleepless nights because of all the things running in my mind. Something I wish I can avoid thinking about it.

Failure is common to some of them because that's the only way they see success in the future. To me, it's something I wish I could avoid. Nobody wants to fail to be motivated right?

This is the first time I fail in the final and this is also the first time my parents heard it from me. Be it in primary or secondary or college, I'll always study hard making sure that I'll not disappoint my parents. They are my motivation and inspiration to continue to work harder. But I disappoint them this time. I can feel it even through phone conversation and tears started to flow like waterfall. I did blame myself and I felt guilty throughout the day. But at the end of the day, that makes me stronger.

Big decision needs to be made. I really need to learn how to let go of something. Something that I wanted so badly. Sometimes I'm too greedy and wanted everything to go on smoothly as planned. I did forget that God too has plan for me. Because of that, it costs me a lot. Cost more than what I can imagine. Now, I need to accept the fact that my dream could be tarnished and I have to make the best decision for myself. I hate making decisions but still I have to make one and not avoiding it.

What used to be mine could be gone forever. I just need to accept the fact and stop avoiding the reality. Think positively and face it with courage. So, am I prepare to let go of my dream? It hurts to do that and I do need support. Hope I can start over again and move on with a smile.